


A Dream is a wish your Heart makes...

by Catarotta



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst, Fantasizing, First Time, Frottage, M/M, Magic Revealed, UST that becomes RST, attraction guilt, sexsomnia thus dubcon by extension, spoilers (S4)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-18
Updated: 2012-12-18
Packaged: 2017-11-21 10:28:40
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/596675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Catarotta/pseuds/Catarotta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Things were fine between them only for one incident to change everything. What is Merlin to do after such a thing and Arthur doesn’t even know he did it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Dream is a wish your Heart makes...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [teprometo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/teprometo/gifts).



> **Recipient:** teprometo  
>  **Author:** Anonymous  
>  **Rating:** NC-17  
>  **Pairings:** Merlin/Arthur, Background Gwen/Lancelot  
>  **Word Count:** 10,555  
>  **Content/Warnings:** Canon set, First time(with a man), sexsomnia thus dubcon by extension, angst, magic reveal, UST that becomes RST, fantasizing, attraction guilt, frottage, spoilers only for season 4  
>  **Summary:** Things were fine between them only for one incident to change everything. What is Merlin to do after such a thing and Arthur doesn’t even know he did it.   
> **Author's Notes:** I had so much fun writing this. Honestly the story wrote itself. One little plot turned into this because my muse didn’t want to stop. A big thanks to my beta W. She really helped point out things and make things flow better. Hope everyone enjoys this as much as I enjoyed writing it.  
>  **Disclaimer:** The characters depicted herein belong to Shine and BBC. I make no profit from this endeavor.

****  
He should have taken the stairs as an omen...Because things never happened till that extra flight of stairs...  
****  
He balanced the breakfast tray and looked up the newest flight he now had to travel. He frowned, glaring at them just a bit. This was probably why Uther's manservant had sent him a smirk the other morning when Merlin had been running around with the last of the move before Arthur's coronation. The man had known he was about to have more of a trip and found pleasure in Merlin's torment. He and Francis had never gotten along after all.

Merlin sighed and finally forced himself up the stairs, only to be panting as he reached the landing. He looked back and knew he'd need to eat more if he didn't want to lose weight thanks to his new excursion to get to Arthur in the mornings. He rolled his eyes at his own antics, knowing he would just shoulder it without complaints within a week of getting used to it. 

Merlin walked up to the doors to Arthur's new chambers, the guards stationed down the hall barely regarding him. He knocked lightly, yet he really didn't expect an answer. After all, Arthur had been well into his cups during the celebrations the night prior. He let himself in, managing to balance the tray, though if he slipped some magic in, no one would know. 

The room was still dark, the curtains drawn over each window. He had done that when he realized Arthur was in for a rough morning. He set the tray on the table, moving toward the large sized lump on the bed. He grinned when he heard a soft snore coming from within. Arthur usually didn't drink this much, but then... You only became King once. Merlin knew that most of the knights were bedridden as well and were likely hoping their new king wouldn't be up for any type of training that day. 

The royal lump stirred, groaning. Merlin chuckled and reached out to shake Arthur, knowing he would feel better with some water and bread in his system. He’d also managed to swipe one of Gaius' potions for hang over. It tasted awful yet worked, like much of the old physician's cures. Said lump only groaned again and shifted. Merlin arched a brow. This just wouldn't do. He really didn't need Arthur to blame him later in the day for not awakening him at a proper time, even if Arthur planned to stay in his chambers for much of the time. 

"Arthur," he said, making sure not to say it too loud, giving him another shake. A hand suddenly shot out, Merlin barely having a moment to yelp before he was surrounded by blankets that were body warmed. He blinked, his eyes widening as he felt Arthur's weight settle upon him, holding him down. 

"Arthur what are y-"

He froze as Arthur nuzzled the back of his neck and Merlin could have sworn he just heard the other inhaling his scent like some wild animal. But it didn't end there; hands grasped him as he tried to wiggle away from Arthur, only to be drawn back against his body. Merlin froze, afraid to even breathe. What in the hell was Arthur doing?

And then he felt it, pressed right against his backside. He felt his face heat up and he was about to give Arthur an earful, turning his head to do so, when he found himself looking at a pair of closed eyes. Arthur... Arthur was still asleep?! Merlin stilled, gob smacked. Arthur was a bit of a heavier sleeper when in the castle and not on patrol, but never like this. This was proof that the new king had had too much wine at the celebration. 

Merlin tried to pull himself away, only to find arms tightening around his slighter frame, along with his neck getting nuzzled. Merlin stilled, racking his brain on how to get out of Arthur's grip. But Arthur was holding on tight and Merlin blushed as he felt that length grinding up against his backside. This was beyond embarrassing. Should he try and wake Arthur? The thought of Arthur's reaction made him groan in frustration. He would get the blame for this somehow and likely end up in the stocks. Honestly he was not ready to visit them after remaining so long out of their evil clutches. 

"Mm...” Arthur rumbled in his slumber, rutting up against the warmth his body had discovered, Merlin shut his eyes tightly. He might be able to escape once Arthur released. That had his eyes snapping open in something akin to horror. How was he going to be able to even look at Arthur for days after? Both of them were close but not this close, despite what he once heard some of the maids giggling about. He had never harbored such ideas about Arthur. No... He was a man and enjoyed a tumble with a bar maid when he did have the chance to do so. This was rare given how hard he was worked, between chores and keeping the prat alive. 

Yet this... Arthur's soft grunts were filling his ears. Merlin cheeks heated in shame as he suddenly felt a stirring in his own loins. No. It was simply a reaction to the fact he was being rubbed against. Not because he desired Arthur. He repeated that in his mind in an almost desperate mantra. It couldn't block out the sounds nor the feel of Arthur pressed against him and rutting his arse shamelessly, yet dead to the waking world. 

Merlin had to stuff his fist against his lips to stifle a yelp as he felt the slick, wet heat of Arthur tongue against his neck, followed by nipping teeth, a hum of male satisfaction echoing around the tight space. He had to not react. That tongue tasted his flesh, Arthur’s subconscious craving the taste that he had been given. Merlin found himself cursing every god of the old religion for getting him into this. He had to be cursed. These things didn't just happen to people unless some immortal being was playing about. 

"S' good..." Arthur mumbled, nearly making Merlin think the other man was awake, but when he peeked he was a bit disappointed. Then hands started to caress, Merlin choking on his next inhale. He wasn't about to get even more groped than he was already. He was forced to bite his lower lip as teeth sank into his neck, a growl vibrating against his back. He stopped moving and was rewarded with a lick. Even in his sleep the prat was a demanding prick. A hand found it way around his neck within moments, Merlin's eyes widening at the sudden movement, the other hand cupping his own length through his pants. He was pressed back, Arthur’s thrusts having a bit more force behind them now. 

Merlin shut his eyes feeling like he wanted to cry like a girl. He was a man... He shouldn't feel this stirring, yet his cock was hard and pressed into the warmth of Arthur's palm, the damned appendage moving in time with his hips. He really wanted this to be over and then he would go and try and scrub away any memory of it ever happening. 

Arthur's breath had picked up and Merlin wondered idly if he would start a fire with how fast he was rubbing the cloth of his sleeping trousers against Merlin's thread bare ones. He really didn't want them ruined. Stains he could clean but not holes put in them. 

"Pre...tty..." came a half mumble, Merlin wondering who his body was playing substitute for. And that made him feel a bit ill. He didn't want to think about anything right then. 

"Ah," he gasped out in a half moan as lips latched onto the back of his neck, near the juncture of his shoulder and neck, sucking. His eyes rolled up just a bit, liquid heat flooding his veins. Merlin's hand pressed over his mouth. He refused to allow another sound escape, even as he felt a spot on the front of his trousers grow damp. He shut his eyes, tears clinging to his eyelashes and refusing to fall. He was more upset with himself than Arthur. But he couldn't use magic, it might wake him.

The sound of a hiss was pressed against his palm, feeling as a bruise was sucked onto the pale flesh of his neck. Arthur's movements were growing more frantic, hands touching, caressing. The grunts increased in volume, Arthur's breath hot and moist against his abused neck. He was going to find a way to get the clot-pole back for this. That bruise was going to give him hell from the knights, mainly Gwaine, for a long time. His eyes widened again as he felt his own body wanting to reach completion. But he refused to orgasm like this. Not with a man. Not his best friend and King. Yet Arthur was making it so hard to concentrate on such a simple thing. He knew he should be disgusted to the point of wanting to be sick, yet with Arthur he was simply letting it happen. 

His hair was beginning to stick to his forehead from the heat of their bodies, Arthur panting heavily and straining to keep his speed. Merlin just prayed he would finish and then he could go handle his own problem. A sudden jerk against him was followed by a rumbling half roar signaling Arthur finding his completion. Merlin felt the back of his own trousers getting slightly damp, mortifying him. 

Arthur finally went limp and Merlin took his chance to throw himself right off the bed, panting. He pushed himself up, shaking. He looked at the bed and glared as he found Arthur still asleep but now with a blissful smile on his lips. Merlin forced himself to his feet, hands covering his front. He had to get back to his room. He looked around and was quick to grab the washing basket, storming out of the room, the door snapping sharply with the force of his closing.   
*  
Arthur startled, blinking. He groaned at the faint light in his chambers and went to turn over, only to freeze. Azure eyes widened as he felt a wetness he had not caused since his younger knight years. Arthur made himself wake more to lift his thick sheets only to see the damp stain on his sleeping trousers. He flushed red and threw his arm over his eyes. Now that was embarrassing. He was a grown man, the King, not some green knight. He turned his head and buried his face into his other pillow with a groan. He blinked and lifted his face, only to sniff at the pillow. He arched a brow, looking around.

Had he brought someone to bed? No. The last thing he remembered was Merlin forcing him to drink a bit of water then shoving him in bed. He sniffed again. It wasn't an unpleasant scent. It was a mix of musk, sandalwood and... Earth. That was the best description. Like the forest after a summer rain. Arthur frowned. When did he get so poetic about a scent? Yet he pressed his nose against it and inhaled, only to then make sure Merlin wasn't about to pop up. He didn't need his manservant seeing him smelling his pillow. It was a mystery then. Well. No time for that then. He needed to clean himself up. He sat up and looked toward his table, spotting breakfast. His brow furrowed as he looked around again. So... Merlin had been there? 

He made himself get out of bed, wincing at the cold flagstones beneath his bare feet. He shuffled around the bed, cautious. Merlin was the sneaky sort at the oddest of times. Yet he didn't see his manservant and his eyes noted the washing basket gone. He finally shrugged. Merlin must have just left things to allow him to sleep in after the huge feast. He glanced at his rumpled bed then down at his own soiled pants. He sighed, shaking his head. He was never having that much wine again.   
*  
Meanwhile Merlin had stormed all the way to his rooms, fuming. When he did make it he threw the washing basket down and then sat on his bed, dropping his head into his hands. Why had he allowed that?  
****

He had hoped things wouldn't be awkward... But as days turned into weeks and weeks into a month... He couldn't rid himself of the incident. Couldn't rid himself... Of the memory of Arthur's touch...

****

"Well that's a shiner. Did you insult her, Merlin?" Gwaine gaffed, slapping him on the back. Merlin glowered at his friend, a red mark in the shape of a petite hand lighting his cheek. 

"Leave him be, Gwaine. You're one to talk," came Lancelot's voice and Merlin thanked God for at least one sensible friend. 

"This coming from the man who should just become a priest with how celibate he plans to be," Gwaine retorted. Merlin sighed and shook his head. 

"This priest can still place you on your back in practice."

"Oh ho! A challenge! And I accept, Saint Lancelot!"

Merlin shook his head again as he watched Gwaine follow Lancelot along. He wondered why Gwaine even tried. When it came to the pair, Lancelot knew Gwaine's tricks too well for them to work. He lifted a hand to his cheek and rubbed it a bit. He had used a bit of Gaius' salve on it. He sighed. It had been his fault really. His eyes lifted from his work on a bit of armor he was fixing for Percival as cheers went up, Gwaine and Lancelot squaring off. 

He had tried. He had! Really hard in fact. But in the end... He couldn't get Arthur out of his system. He had found a willing partner the night prior, a woman looking for coin, but he wasn't about to be picky when he just needed to prove he could forget. But as she lay under him, moaning and writhing, he found that it just wasn't enough. Which was disheartening considering that he would have loved it just months ago. So when he pulled away and just held out the coin, dismissing her, she had slapped him for insulting her beauty, or something along those lines. He really hadn't been paying attention to her, more to his own inner struggle. He hadn't been able to get flustered. Each sound she had made him want to hear something deeper. 

Merlin slapped his own forehead only to stiffen as he heard a very familiar clearing of a throat. He turned his head to find Arthur looking down at him, arms crossed over his chest and a brow arched. "Merlin I don't think you can afford to damage what little brain you still retain in that head of yours," he drawled. Merlin rolled his eyes. 

"Much more than you've got," he huffed and then nearly dropped the armor in his hands as Arthur's hand caught his chin and tipped his face up. He really didn't know what personal space meant when it came to Merlin. He narrowed his eyes faintly, showing Arthur that he wasn't happy with being grabbed. Blond hair shifted with the movement as Arthur tilted his head, curious. 

"Did someone hit you?" he asked and Merlin seriously wished he could bury himself in a hole. He jerked his head back, releasing his chin from Arthur's fingers. 

"It’s fine. Nothing you needed to concern yourself over. Just a light tap. I bruise easy," he babbled and that was when a defeated Gwaine decided to pop up. 

"Merlin got himself roughed up by his tumble last night," he said with a bite of laughter, his back covered in mud, showing that Lancelot had been true to his word about what he would do to him. 

"Gwaine!" Merlin hissed. Arthur tossed his head back and laughed. He slung his arm around Merlin's shoulder and put him in a slight head lock, rubbing his knuckles over ebony tresses and messing them up more than they were previously. 

"OI!" Merlin protested and struggled to get away from the abuse. 

Arthur grinned, leaning down as he continued the assault. But then a scent smacked him in the nose, startling him and making him release his manservant with a blink of confusion. Merlin was red faced and panting. He then stood and grabbed the armor he had to fix and made his way to the armory, cursing stupid prats and idiot loud mouth friends. 

Gwaine whistled, clearly having not expected Merlin to pitch a fit. He then looked at Arthur and slapped a hand on his shoulder, bringing the him back to himself. "I think we both took it too far. He'll be fine soon. Merlin bounces back every time," he reassured then went off to go get cleaned up from his solid trouncing. But Arthur's eyes had flicked to the armory where Merlin had disappeared. That scent. It had been on his pillow. Why?  
****

But the scent was quick to be forgotten as things transpired that would change the course of so many things within Camelot... Weakening her from within...

****

Arthur thought he had read the signs correctly. How had he been so blind to what was right in front of his eyes? It hurt. He felt betrayed by the two people he trusted so much in his life. He couldn't handle this. He had wanted to propose to Gwen. But then... Then he had found her in the arms of Lancelot and looking at his most trusted of knights, his brother in arms, with something in her eyes that he had never seen for himself. Had she just been humoring him, pitying, all along? 

Those thoughts twisted his heart up in his chest and made it hard to breath. He had charged right in like a hot headed bull, demanding answers. Gwen had cried, Lancelot unable to lie to him. He had done the only thing he could do to save himself from more hurt. He banished them both, expecting them gone at dawn. 

Arthur sat heavily in his chair before the fireplace, gazing into the flames, well into his fourth cup of wine. Had he not loved her enough? But Gwen had spoken to him in her tears. Telling him that he loved the idea of love and she couldn't allow him to blind himself into believing that was love. His hand tightened on the goblet and with a snarl he threw it into the flames, the blaze roaring high with the alcohol.

He didn't even hear the door open, Merlin slipping in and standing there, looking at his King and best friend. He had never seen Arthur so lost. Not even when his father died. 

"Arthur," he said, venturing closer. Arthur stiffened but turned his head and Merlin could see the redness in those eyes. Arthur had cried. 

"Just... Go, Merlin," he croaked out, voice raw from his yelling and tears. He looked defeated and it made Merlin creep closer, snagging a new goblet and filling it. He knelt down, Arthur now burying his face in his hands, body shaking. Merlin was at a loss. He had never thought Arthur could crumble. He was a pillar of strength. Always. 

"Hey. Come on," he whispered, nudging Arthur's hands with the goblet. "You know I can't leave you like this. What kind of friend would I be?" he added as he tried to get Arthur to lift his face again.

Arthur was tempted to just swat the goblet away, yet he couldn't push away the only person he trusted now. He didn't want to be alone. Gingerly he lowered his hand, but kept his head bowed. He took the goblet and looked down into the wine it held. "How did I not... See it?" he finally rasped. 

Merlin nearly startled. He had not expected Arthur to speak. He tilted his head a bit to get a better look at Arthur's face. His sapphire eyes had seemed to lose their spark and Merlin had the sudden urge to find a way to bring it back. Arthur couldn't be this defeated. Not Arthur. Never Arthur. Yet he was falling apart right in front of his eyes. 

Arthur finally sipped the wine and only flicked his eyes to Merlin, seeing the concern there. No pity. Just pure concern for his well-being. Merlin chewed on the inside of his cheek as he thought of something to say. He wasn't very good at this sort of thing. He opened his mouth only to shut it again. With a sigh he got up, sat on the armrest and suddenly wrapped his arms around Arthur, hugging him, surprising the King. 

Arthur should have shoved him away immediately, but a calming scent surrounded him. He didn't lean into it, but simply allowed it. "Honestly. I can't say I have experience in this sort of thing. But... Maybe you did but your heart wouldn't let you. Sorry but I'm no good at this," he said softly, petting Arthur's hair like his own mother use to do to him when he was little and was upset. 

Arthur just looked into the fire, a silent figure with Merlin's arms wrapped around his shoulders in a vague show of support. The fire was the only sound in the room now, both men not wanting to break the peace. Arthur sipped his wine but he wanted to forget the day and with a choked off sob he downed it. Merlin winced at the raw display of emotion. Arthur was always so passionate, but to show this kind of agony was not something he showed often, or at least not before anyone. But then Merlin had been there for so long that he chalked it up to the fact that this night would never leave these chambers. Arthur dropped the goblet and turned toward Merlin, burying his face against the worn fabric clothing his manservant's chest. 

Merlin nearly fell of the armrest in surprise, yet managed to keep himself steady as Arthur now grabbed at him with desperate hands, a keening sob escaping. He sounded like a broken man. Tears wet his tunic and he simply pet Arthur's hair as he sobbed, the sounds making Merlin close his eyes as they broke his heart. This was a side of Arthur that he didn't know how to heal. This wasn't a wound magic could heal and he wasn't very adept in these type of feelings. He had only loved Freya and she had died, not run into the arms of another man. 

Neither knew how long they remained in the odd embrace. But Arthur quieted and seemed to relax, the large amounts of alcohol finally granting him that warm bliss. He pulled back, releasing Merlin as the other did so in turn to him. "I apologize," Arthur whispered and Merlin just smiled faintly. 

"It’s fine. You needed to get it out or it would just build and make things worse. That's what my mum would tell me."

Arthur looked up at Merlin and blinked. When had Merlin become so wise? Arthur offered a fleeting smile before looking at the fire again. Merlin leaned over and gave him one last hug, knowing that this would not likely happen again. Plus, he was glad he had made sure that he had Agravaine busy for the night. Arthur's uncle would only make matters worse and the last thing Camelot needed was Arthur being twisted into something bitter and cold. He would have to make sure that never happened. 

He closed his eyes as Merlin held him, the fire like a white noise that soothed him. He sniffled a bit, clearing his sinuses from his crying. It was then that scent surrounded him and he suddenly felt calm. Had Merlin always smelled like this? Bloody hell he wondered if the wine was really getting to his head if he was enjoying sniffing his manservant. But it honestly was a soothing scent. 

Merlin started to pull away yet Arthur grabbed him, holding him in place, surprising them both. Arthur looked up; Merlin's face so close to his own. The fire highlighted the planes of Merlin's face, making Arthur just stare at him. "Umm...” Merlin uttered as he found himself growing uncomfortable under that scrutinizing gaze. 

But Arthur was wondering things... Things he normally wouldn't but wine did work wonders on the iron cage of his mind. He wondered. Would kissing Merlin taste as good as how he smelled?

 

"Ar-"

Merlin was cut off as Arthur only tugged him faintly and surged up to press their lips together. His eyes widened, gasping and letting Arthur suddenly devour his mouth. Merlin was so shocked he didn't even think to shove the other man away from him. Arthur kissed like he fought. Strong and dominating. Merlin found himself surrendering before his mind could remind him that he was kissing a man and not just any man... His King and friend. 

Arthur tilted his face and his lips slid along Merlin's, the angle allowing him to deepen the kiss, chasing the taste of the other man, his own mixing with it and making it like ambrosia for his broken soul.

Arthur’s mind was a bit slow on catching up with his actions, having to move through the haze of wine. But a whimper from Merlin broke the spell, the sound making him realize just who he was forcing himself on. Arthur tore himself away and Merlin yelped as he fell from his perch and onto the fur rug in front of the fireplace. Both men were panting heavily, lips red from their actions. Merlin lifted his hand to his lips, trembling. It had happened again. Arthur had touched him. Ruined him. He didn't like men but Arthur... The thought of him had begun things that were changing him. 

He lifted his gaze to Arthur and found equally surprised eyes looking at him. Merlin had to get out. Had to get away. He scrambled up to his feet, backing up a step, Arthur getting to his feet as well. 

"Merlin I'm sor-"

"Don't. Just don't," Merlin interrupted him. Arthur had not meant to hurt Merlin. No... Not the only person left beside him in his life. His one true friend. 

"Mer-"

"Don't!" Merlin snapped, shocking himself at how forceful he was. He shook his head. "Let's just... Forget this, Arthur. Just let it go," he practically pleaded as he backed for the door, needing the distance. His back hit it and he kept looking at Arthur who was looking a bit lost. "Just. Go to sleep. We'll talk in the morning," he finally said then was turning and out the door before Arthur could say anymore and break his resolve to leave. 

Arthur fell back into his chair and buried his hands in his hair. What had he been thinking? How could he take advantage of Merlin when the other had come to offer him comfort? He felt ashamed. But even more so because... He had enjoyed it. Had kissing Gwen ever brought such excitement? He couldn't remember. He would need to find a way to apologize to Merlin. This was his doing after all. 

Merlin made it Gaius' tower and ran in, yet was quiet. He really didn't want to talk about the state he was in. He locked himself away in his room, curling up on his bed. He buried his face into his pillow, refusing to cry. But why... Why did his chest hurt so much? What was this new heavy, suffocating feeling?  
****

Things like that couldn't be easily forgotten but they could be pushed aside when events of enormous magnitude shook the very foundations of the world around all. 

This was just another mark on Arthur's tattered and scared heart. It was a wonder he had not shattered into a thousand pieces. It spoke of the strength of his soul... And that was only one half a coin created by the hands of Fate and Destiny. 

****

Beltane. Merlin looked at the belt in his hands. Things had been awkward between Arthur and himself since that night, but life had to continue. If it stuttered and stopped, tumbling over itself, things would never get done. He flicked his eyes between the knife in one hand and the belt in the other. He peeked over his shoulder to confirm that Arthur was still dressing and started to quickly whittle in a hole. He really didn't need Arthur getting all huffy about the bit of extra padding he had gained with all the feasts he had to attend. 

"Merlin. What on earth are you doing?"

Arthur's voice startled him, making Merlin whip around, hiding the belt and knife behind his back as he came face-to-face with a trouserless King. He kept his eyes locked with Arthur's, smiling sheepishly. 

"Me? Oh nothing… Nothing," he tried to say as nonchalantly as possible but one arched brow from Arthur had his shoulders slumping in defeat as he showed the belt. Arthur looked down as it and realization dawned on his features. 

"You were adding another hole..." he accused and Merlin tried his best innocent look. "You're saying I'm fat," came the next accusation.

"Bit more padding is nothing to be ashamed off. Comes with the title," he replied, trying his best not to laugh, the tight knot in his chest loosening as he and Arthur fell back into their easy banter after weeks of strained conversation. Arthur snatched the belt and proceeded to try and get the belt on its normal hole, Merlin bringing his newly emptied hand to his lips as he bit down laughter, Arthur struggling and mumbling a plea to the belt to fit. Finally he gave in, shoving the belt back into Merlin's hands. 

"Make it work. And not a word about this, Merlin," he ordered, his cheeks flushed with a hint of embarrassment. Merlin chuckled and nodded. 

"Oh of course, Sire. Keeping secrets is my specialty after all," he replied but within, he was laughing, knowing he would use this material against Arthur the moment he was able. Arthur cleared his throat, the moment now awkward once more between them. Merlin looked away and went to work on the belt while Arthur went to get some trousers on. Merlin's eyes followed Arthur and then he was mentally slapping himself for such a perversion. He didn't look at Arthur in that manner. No. He refused to.  
~~~~

It was not even mid feast when Gwaine burst into the banquet hall, announcing the invasion that was well on its way into the main part of the citidel. Arthur was up, orders falling from his lips, Merlin herding the nobles away as he was told. His eyes were forced to watch Arthur leave the hall with his knights. 

But they both had their roles to play. He was more the medic while Arthur was the hero. But it was unnerving whenever they had to go separate paths.   
*  
Arthur tasted steel in his mouth as he twisted and pivoted with perfect precision along the halls as they became infested with Camelot's enemies, while Merlin was helping tend to those already wounded. Yet it was like something between them called and Merlin tore from the infirmary, racing along the halls. When they were close he had to watch as Arthur was struck. Arthur stumbled and then he was looking at that familiar face and even through the pain he felt relief with Merlin there beside him.

Merlin hauled him along, after making sure to look back and set the torches in the hall flaring, Arthur clutching his side as they moved along the halls, trying to seek the best possible route away from the invading enemies. They were in the hall that lead into the main courtyard, behind a pillar. They both could hear the thundering footfalls of the army just beyond the safety of their hiding place.   
Arthur winced as he leaned back against it, causing Merlin to look at him with worry. "All right?" he asked and Arthur looked at him, grimacing faintly. 

"Might be a broken rib…" he pushed as his breath hitched faintly. "Or two," he added. Arthur then peeked around and his eyes saw Morgana marching at the head, only for his uncle to join alongside her. 

Arthur felt his heart twist violently in his chest. he had trusted his uncle so much and now... He truly had no family left to him. It hurt deep within his soul and he bit the inside of his cheek, trying to control his emotions as they tried to rise to the surface. He had pushed aside all of Merlin's accusations against his uncle and yet here they were... All staring him in the face that his uncle had indeed been the traitor within their midst. Merlin peeked around and finally saw what had made Arthur stiffen beside him and knew the devastation that Arthur must be feeling at that moment. 

"Agravaine.." the name sounded so heartbroken from Arthur. Merlin wished he could erase the hurt but there was nothing to be done. Suddenly he had to grab Arthur as he went to launch himself around the pillar for his uncle. He pulled him back, pressing him to the stone. 

"No, Arthur. There are too many of them," he hissed, being that voice of reason Arthur needed. Merlin could see the anguished rage on Arthur's features, making him keep his grip on him. Arthur was tense, wanting to leap out, watching the invading army, his eyes never leaving his uncle back as he marched up the stairs with Morgana. "We can deal with your uncle later. We need to get out of here first," Merlin added sharply, knowing he had to make Arthur see around the fury he was feeling at that moment. "All right?" he asked, watching the emotions clearly displayed on his face. Arthur finally nodded, though it was stiff and clearly forced. 

Merlin tugged on him, pulling Arthur with him and away from the army. "Come on. Let's go," he whispered, Arthur limping with him, his side clearly tender and injured. 

~~~~

They made it to the infirmary, even with the sounds of the attack echoing even to them. Merlin left Arthur to Gaius, moving to help people around them. Arthur's face was pale, his breath coming out in labored breaths as Gaius poked at his colorfully bruised side. 

"Sire. Even if I bind it you run the risk of puncturing a lung," Gaius told him. Arthur did not want to hear that. 

"Just get things to the point that I can swing a sword and fight," he gritted out, sweat sliding down the sides of his face, the coloring much paler than normal, showing that he was in more pain than he was letting anyone know. 

Merlin turned to the door as Gwaine and Percival came through, shutting the door behind them with a bit of force. Gaius shook his head at Arthur and came over to them, leaving him to rest a moment. 

"How bad is it?" Merlin asked, watching Gwaine shake his head a bit.

"The citadel is over run."

"How long do we have?" Gaius asked, looking back to Arthur who was trying his best not to wince where he rested. 

"They'll be on us in minutes," Percival said, making them all grow quiet. Merlin looked to Arthur. 

"They're coming for Arthur. If they find him they'll kill him," Merlin pointed out. 

"Arthur won't abandon his people," Gwaine countered, making Merlin grimace, knowing this to be very true. Arthur could be a prat. But he was a noble one with a heart of gold when it came to the people of Camelot. 

"He'd rather die," Gwaine added. Merlin had to think quickly. 

"Barricade the doors. Give us as much time as you can," he said after a moment, pulling Gaius aside to speak with him. Once away he looked at him, hoping that Gaius would be able to help. "We need to get him out of here. Do you have a potion? Something to knock him out?" he questioned. Gaius shook his head. 

"I don't have anything strong enough with me here," he answered. Merlin looked at Arthur, who remained where he was resting before. He had the urge to tug on his own hair as Gaius frowned. "In the tower… But that is impossible now," he continued then looked at Merlin with a serious expression. "But you have something powerful enough," he said, arching his eyebrow to hint at what he meant when it came to Merlin. 

"You mean use magic on him," he whispered, looking unhappy with that suggestion. Gaius nodded and Merlin chewed on his lower lip, flicking his gaze to Arthur. He had not used magic on Arthur in a long time. It made him uncomfortable to do so, especially since this didn't involve healing but taking away his friend's will. It made something cold settle in the pit of his stomach. But the sounds of the enemy were so close now. He had no choice. He gave Gaius a nod, even as his heart was twisting in his chest. 

This was saving Arthur. He couldn't lose Arthur... Camelot couldn't lose him. His hand was forced and he did it even as his magic seemed confused as to what it was doing. This wasn't healing... This was a form of magic Merlin never wished to do again. 

~~~~

God if Arthur ever learned about how he’d acted, Merlin knew he would not live long after. He couldn't stop a small smile though as Arthur followed him like a pup and then was hugging a tree. They had been lucky to stumble upon Tristan and Isolde. That would keep them safe for the moment till he could figure out what the next wisest move would be. 

"Merlin," came Arthur's cheerful voice and he plopped down beside him, big grin on his face as he watched what Merlin was doing. It was evening now, dinner cooking over the fire. Arthur leaned in, sniffing. He looked at Merlin. "Smell really good. You're so good at this, Merlin," he complimented, leaning against Merlin like a contented feline. 

Merlin blinked, wondering why Arthur was so affectionate after the spell. He wouldn't stop pressing himself closely and practically cuddling up to him. Maybe the spell had caused damage to Arthur's brain. Even as a simpleton Arthur wasn't the 'snuggling' type of man. 

He patted Arthur's head, getting a smile. Arthur was... Adorable. There really wasn't any other way to look at his actions. He silently prayed Arthur wouldn't remember any of this for about the tenth time since this began. He looked at him only to find himself looking into those blue depths. Arthur then shifted and Merlin's eyes nearly popped out of his skull as warm lips pressed chastely against his own. It was an almost innocent touch. 

Arthur pulled back first, leaving Merlin frozen in place before he blinked and just looked at Arthur in bewilderment. "Wh-wh-what was that for?" he finally managed to stutter out. Arthur smiled brightly. 

"It’s what people do when they like one another," Arthur replied instantly, looking so proud of himself. Merlin tilted his head to the side in confusion. 

"And where did you learn that?"

"Tristan and Isolde. They do that. I asked one of the other people. They told me why," he answered. Merlin wanted to bury his face in his hands. Arthur had the mentality of a child and it was so endearing it hurt. He couldn't even be upset. He sighed and ruffled Arthur's hair. 

"Two men shouldn't do that, Arthur," he told him gently, causing Arthur to frown. 

"Why not? You like me... Don't you, Merlin?"

"Well yes... But-" he was cut off by those innocent lips pressing to his again. Arthur was displaying that even if he had the mind of a child he still had his adult speed. Merlin took his shoulders and gently pushed him back. Arthur's eyes were glassy, showing he was near tears. 

"Oh no. Don't cry, Arthur," he quickly said then sighed, hugging him close. Arthur pressed close and nuzzled his face under Merlin's chin. Merlin peeked around them to insure no one was watching. 

"Of course I like you, Arthur. But... men don't kiss like that," he tried again to explain it so Arthur would understand. 

"Shouldn't matter if we are men," Arthur huffed and caused Merlin to chuckle, holding him a bit tighter. 

"I suppose you're right Arthur. I suppose you're right."

~~~~

The morning after had not been ideal. Arthur returned to himself and learned of all that had happened. Merlin nearly burst into laughter watching Arthur try to act the part of the 'simpleton'. The accent he tried. Oh Merlin was going to have material for months after all this was over. 

Yet all turned to hell before long as Agravaine's men fell upon the camp. It was good to have Arthur back as they made for cover and took out a pair of crossbows, telling Tristan and Isolde to make for the trees. Years of being alongside Arthur had at least made Merlin a good shot. Well... Times of need arose any other time he didn't feel like using the skill. 

After several shots they moved, hiding along-side Tristan and Isolde. Merlin felt like Arthur and Tristan should never be left alone with how they seemed to snipe. But then more attackers struck, breaking the tension. Isolde ended up injured and they offered the pair a safe haven in Ealdor. Merlin had to smile as Isolde made the decision for her lover. Well. Now they had two new allies. 

~~~

They made it as far as they could, evening beginning to settle. Isolde looked tired, her face a touch paler than it should be. Merlin looked out, knowing his home was another half-day's walk. But Isolde needed rest if she was to make it without blacking out. So they made camp, Merlin setting it up and looking after the woman to make sure she was comfortable. He could feel Tristan watching his every move and Arthur in turn was watching Tristan. Merlin could only shake his head and moved over to Arthur once he was done. 

"Merlin. Build another fire," Arthur suddenly asked, making Merlin look at him with a frown. 

"But-" he was cut off by Arthur's hand coming up and the stern look in those eyes. Merlin closed his mouth and did just that, moving them both a bit of a distance from the other two. It gave just a margin of privacy. 

Merlin sighed and sat down with Arthur, who was just staring into the flames. "You knew," Arthur broke the silence with those words, Merlin looking at him. He could see the slight defeat weighing down those proud shoulders. 

"I suspected..." he muttered, looking at the fire and adding another stick. He heard Arthur moving and was surprise as their shoulders now pressed together. Merlin turned his head to look at Arthur.

"You did. And I was too blind to listen to you. I feel like such a fool," he said, looking right at his manservant. Silence settled over them and Merlin wondered why Arthur was just staring at him. Merlin was quiet, watching as Arthur seemed to be thinking about something. He felt the need to lean back, the King's gaze a bit intense. "But. In the end of things. I still have you by my side. You always seem to be here," Arthur said and a faint smile touched his lips. 

Merlin blinked but then smiled in return. "I always will be. I've told you so before," he said and nudged his shoulder against Arthur's, trying to lighten the heavy atmosphere that seemed to settle over them.

Arthur tilted his head a bit, watching Merlin. His eyes flicked to the other two in the camp, seeing them in one another's arms. Arthur wondered when the pang for Gwen had vanished. It was much more sharp in the beginning than now.. The only one here was Merlin and he was happy for it. If he had lost him... A nearly blinding pain twisted his heart and he shut his eyes, making Merlin worry. 

"Arthur?" he said gently, hand reaching out to cover the one Arthur had placed over his heart, not realizing. He opened his eyes, Merlin closer than before. The thought of losing Merlin was even more painful than the pain he had felt when he banished Gwen and Lancelot. Did that mean that Merlin meant more to him than the woman he had claimed to love? It was an odd thought yet seemed to click something into place. 

"Merlin," he said and reached with his free hand, cupping the back of his neck, tugging him close, startling Merlin. 

"Arthur what are y-" he found himself being silenced by a pair of lips over his own. What was it with Arthur kissing him… And always mid-sentence. His hands went to Arthur's chest and he tried to push, but Arthur would not let go. He used his strength and yanked Merlin over, forcing Merlin to catch himself against Arthur's form. He pulled his head back and gasped for breath, only to flush at the position he was in. He was straddling his King and said King seemed intent on not letting him go. Arthur's arm tightened around his waist and he looked up, watching Merlin. He could see that Merlin was trying to understand. 

"Did you know that the thought of not having you here is much more painful than when I lost Gwen?" he whispered, wanting Merlin to understand what he hardly understood himself. Was this what Gwen and Lancelot had felt for one another? This all-consuming feeling. The instinctual need to be next to one another and to lose one meant heartbreak like no other. 

Merlin's eyes widened, his heart fluttering oddly in his chest. Was this okay? They were both men not to mention Arthur was King. The kingdom would not allow such a relationship. Yet... Merlin found himself wanting to erase every bad thing away. Could he heal Arthur? Love him like he needed? But then, didn't he already love the damned prat? Ever since that day when Arthur pulled him into bed. The feelings had shifted. Had become deeper in their meaning. All it took to shift something so fragile was a push in the right direction. 

Arthur wondered what Merlin was thinking, those eyes stormy yet not looking away from his own. Arthur knew this was not a match the court would support. But he was King and he knew he was a better one thanks to Merlin. Camelot would benefit from a queen, but Arthur had no feelings for anyone. He knew he could not have a loveless marriage when he had what he needed right here in his arms. It had taken so long for him to realize. And in the end, Merlin's gender mattered little to him. 

Merlin found himself sighing and rolling his eyes before leaning in close, Arthur smelling the forest on him. "You are still a prat," he murmured before pressing his lips to Arthur's. Arthur smiled into the kiss before taking over. He forced Merlin's lips apart with his tongue, delving in to taste him. Merlin shivered, groaning softly, his hands sliding up Arthur's chest to wrap around his shoulders, his fingertip tangling in the hair at the nape of his neck. The kiss was almost innocent yet turned filthy and wanting the moment Merlin shifted in Arthur lap, grinding their clothed lengths together, igniting a new spark between them. 

Arthur groaned deeply, the sound rumbling in his chest as he lifted Merlin and changed their positions in a show of his strength. He lay Merlin down beside the fire, never breaking the kiss as he placed himself over him. His tongue battled with Merlin's making the kiss wet and a touch desperate. Neither had ever felt this kind of spiralling heat before. Merlin's legs opened and left Arthur settle with their hips now pressing closely. Arthur thrust his hips lightly and both men gasped out, breaking the kiss. 

Merlin looked up at Arthur, the firelight making shadows dance across them both, yet each would see the need in their eyes for one another. It was like a dam had been broken. Both smiled stupidly, Merlin tugging Arthur back down and sealing their lips together. They needed this moment. Who knew when they would get another? After this... It would be a battle to regain Camelot from Morgana's claws. But this... This was a time for them. 

Arthur had tumbled with men before. Long campaigns tended to stir that need. But this was different. Those had no emotion only the need for release. Yet with Merlin. It meant so much more. There were feelings. Feelings that bards would sing of in later times. 

Merlin was also smaller than the knights and squires that Arthur had lain with in the past. Yet it felt right, their bodies slotting together perfectly like they were made for one another. 

Two halves made whole...

Arthur smiled a bit into the kiss at the poetic nature of his thoughts. He broke the kiss, lightly running his tongue over Merlin's lips, red from their kisses. Merlin groaned softly, rocking his body up, making pleasure dance along both their senses. 

"Merlin..." Arthur growled softly, moving and burying his face against Merlin's neck, inhaling his scent. This smell... It smelled like home. It made him grind down against the lithe form beneath him, pressing his nose deeply against pale flesh. A moan drifted up from Merlin, Arthur's mouth latching on and suckling, adding a hint of teeth. Merlin bucked up from the sensation, Arthur chuckling as he licked over the red spot he left. Merlin was clearly sensitive. Arthur felt a soft smack on his shoulder, making him lift his face up and look down at a flushed Merlin. 

He glared as best he could up at Arthur, huffing. "Prat," he grumbled, clearly not happy that Arthur found a weak spot. Arthur's gaze softened and he leaned down, kissing away Merlin’s attempt at being agitated with him. And Merlin melted, returning the kiss, their movements a bit slower, savoring one another. But as they moved and rubbed one another it grew in intensity, their tongues dueling for supremacy. Merlin wasn't going to lay back and be a woman. No. But he knew that tonight, Arthur needed to be on top. Another time he would show him he wasn't a naive servant. Though he had to admit this was his first time with a man, and Arthur really was the only man he had ever found himself even remotely attracted to.

Arthur nipped at Merlin's lips as he pulled back, his hands slipping under Merlin's tunic, touching smooth flesh beneath. Merlin sucked in a breath and then had to slap his hand over his mouth as Arthur's hand slipped up far enough and twisted his left nipple between sword roughened fingertips. He had never known those could be so sensitive. Arthur smirked, both hands now beneath the tunic and finding Merlin's hardened nubs. Arthur burrowed his face against Merlin's throat and took to nipping and licking. Merlin twitched and bucked beneath him, mindful to keep his mouth covered for Tristan and Isolde were sleeping not too far from them. 

He wanted to hit Arthur again, because he knew the other was doing this on purpose to see if he would let himself be heard. He honestly didn't need any awkward moments from their traveling companions come morning. Merlin groaned against his hand again as Arthur gently twisted his nipples while at the same time biting down at the juncture of his shoulder and neck. He would get the prat back if he left too many marks. How was he going to explain them to his mother when they finally made it to Ealdor? But those thoughts fled him as one of Arthur's hands moved down his chest and suddenly was cupping his half hard cock through his trousers. 

Arthur grinned against Merlin's neck as he felt him thrust up against his hand, Merlin cursing him within his mind. 

Merlin didn't like the disadvantage he was feeling. He moved his one of his own hands, quickly getting it down between them before Arthur could stop him and gently pressed the heel of his hand against Arthur's arousal. Arthur groaned softly, biting his lower lip in an effort to remain quiet also. 

Arthur lifted his face and looked down and saw that impish light in Merlin's eyes, a coy smile on his lips. It made him want to make Merlin cry his name to the heavens. But now was not the time and place for such an 'endeavor'. But it did not mean he wouldn't do such a thing once they reclaimed Camelot and were in the safety of her walls. He leaned in, brushing his lips over Merlin's, causing Merlin to chase after his. Arthur chuckled and kissed Merlin. 

Merlin didn't know what to do with Arthur. He was a tease and seemed to want to direct everything. Merlin didn't like feeling like he was a damsel to be 'tormented' until he was begging. His own instinctual male pride was rearing its ugly head. He looked up with defiant eyes, Arthur's own widening faintly. 

Arthur didn't know what Merlin was thinking but that look had heat flooding his veins. Yet he should have been paying attention to something else as Merlin used years of being close to him against him. Arthur found himself on his back, the wind lightly knocked out of him. He gazed up at a smirking Merlin in surprise, only to laugh out freely.

The sound of Arthur's laughter melted something within Merlin and he was happy with what he did. Years with Arthur and the knights meant he had learned a thing or two. Just because he didn't show his knowledge didn't mean it wasn't there. He leaned down and kissed Arthur as the laughter trailed off. Strong hands curled around Merlin's hips, pressing them close again. He showed Arthur that he could kiss and wasn't the blushing virgin that Gwaine teased him to be at times. 

They moved together, rubbing and grinding in time with the other. Both men groaned into the kiss, not wanting to stop the pleasure. Arthur's hands moved though, touching Merlin almost reverently as if not believing this was happening and that Merlin was really there. He had lost so much yet Merlin, Merlin remained and that was all he needed. With Merlin everything would be all right and they would reclaim Camelot. 

Arthur let a hand slide between their bodies and without his usual gloves he was able to get into the slight gap in Merlin's trousers. He wrapped his fingers around Merlin's length, feeling the slickness of excitement leaking from the tip and wetting Arthur fingers for them to teasingly swirl around the head. 

Merlin moaned deeply, his movements jerking forward in a nearly violent motion. He broke the kiss and looked at Arthur, whispering his name as he moaned again, doing his best to stifle the sound. It felt much more real than having any female hand around him. Merlin had never felt this. He felt stripped bare yet he was fully clothed. He wanted Arthur to feel the same way. To touch him, know he hadn't lost him to Morgana as he had come so close to doing. He used one hand keep himself perched over Arthur while his other moved down, their eyes locked. He moved over Arthur's stomach, the clothing he wore riding up to allow Merlin to already touch hot flesh. 

Arthur's breath stilled as did his movements as Merlin dipped into the ridiculous trousers and twined his fingers around Arthur. Merlin watched as Arthur's eyes rolled up slightly and he bucked up into him. 

"Merlin," he growled softly, making Merlin shiver, feeling powerful. 

Arthur met Merlin's eyes, challenging and moving his own hand. Merlin groaned and mimicked Arthur's motion. Both men took this as a challenge. To see who could bring the other the most pleasure. To see who could make the other orgasm first. Hands moved in the dark, drawing soft moans from them both. But it soon wasn't enough for Arthur. He needed more of Merlin. 

Merlin gasped as Arthur moved them, pinning him once more to the forest floor. He blinked in surprise, wondering what the other had in mind. Arthur's hands tugged and Merlin's eyes widened as he suddenly felt the cool press of leaves on his arse. 

"Ar-" But he couldn't even protest because Arthur spit into his hand and batted Merlin's hand away. He looked down and watched as Arthur lined them up and wrapped his large hand around them both and stroked. Merlin's eyes practically rolled up in his head at the explosion of pleasure. 

"God..." he hissed. 

"Least you know now that I am," came Arthur's voice right over him. Merlin raised his eyelids as he looked into azure eyes filled with pleasure and just a hint of humor. 

"Of course, Sire," he replied, watching how Arthur's pupils seemed to expand with desire as he used Arthur's proper form of address. He'd make sure to remember the reaction. But lost all thought as Arthur began to devour his lips while stroking them both. A mix of saliva and their own precome slicked the way till it was a smooth glide. 

Merlin clung to Arthur, the kiss not breaking. Both needed it to conceal the noise. Merlin then felt his own end, magic sizzling under his flesh. Merlin cursed, breaking the kiss as the combination of his magic and Arthur sent his world spiraling out of control. He threw his head back, forcing his eyes as closed as he could as he felt his magic spike as he spilled between them, the fire flaring, if one paid attention. Arthur growled and followed moments later, slumping on Merlin with a sigh of relief. 

Merlin was quick to get over his euphoria and looked at the fire nervously. That had been... unexpected. He couldn't recall his magic ever reacting like that before. He just hoped Arthur hadn't noticed. But then maybe he didn't. Arthur would have grabbed his sword already. Right? Merlin petted blond hair and waited, though it was quickly getting uncomfortable to have Arthur on him. There was definitely a rock digging into his lower back that he hadn't noticed before. 

Arthur slowly lifted himself and sat there. He was quiet, making Merlin shift to sit up as well. They both were a bit of a mess. And it wasn't just from their release. They had leaves in their hair and dirt smudging their clothing. Arthur wiped his hand on the leaves littered ground and still was quiet. Merlin felt like he was about to begin fidgeting. 

"Do you... Ever plan to just tell me or do you want me to confront you in a rage to make you confess?" Arthur finally spoke, his question nearly making Merlin topple over. 

His hands came up and he opened his mouth, only to close it again as no sound came out. He could only look at Arthur with wide eyes, the words turning over in his head. Suddenly it was like being slapped. 

"Wait... You know?" Merlin finally managed to squeak out. 

Arthur turned his head and glared faintly. "I might have been oblivious to Gwen and Lancelot, Merlin, but after all these years do you really believe I couldn't place certain events together and find the true conclusion?" he pointed out and Merlin could only stare, making Arthur sigh as he rearranged himself from their 'activities'. 

"Well. I... Maybe I... hoped you didn't?" was all Merlin could say. Arthur rolled his eyes. 

"Merlin. I clearly remember I had broken ribs before we left. Which brings up questions. First... You had to have done something to get me out. And second you had to have healed me. No man heals from broken ribs that quickly."

Merlin sat there and looked from Arthur to the fire. He also fixed himself and his hands fidgeted in his lap. 

"I have never used it against you. Only for the good of Camelot... And of course to keep you alive," he finally said, voice just loud enough to be heard over the crackling of the fire. He dared a glance at Arthur. He found that steady gaze on him. 

Arthur nodded and reached out, grabbing Merlin and hauling him closer. He sighed and hugged Merlin. He had always pushed away the realizations. Had written off the coincidences when they happened. He had not wanted to face the reality of knowing Merlin had magic. If he ignored it... It couldn't be true. But now, Arthur had to face the truth. While Merlin had hidden it... He had saved him. Though he could only count a couple of times. Somehow he bet it paled in comparison with the true number. 

Merlin relaxed against Arthur, feeling a tremor run through him. He held Arthur close, feeling tears gather in his own eyes. Arthur had known. For how long, Merlin did not know. But he wasn't lashing out. Merlin then thought back. There had been a time a couple years back when Arthur had been short with him. It had been a time after they had been friends. Was that when it had happened? Did it honestly matter?

They sat in silence, holding one another and basking in the presence of each other. They needed this moment of quiet settlement. Arthur pulled back first, looking at Merlin. He sighed and punched Merlin's shoulder, making him wince and clutch the injured area. 

"That’s for not telling me ages ago. You should know... Just like if Morgana had told me. I would have understood. Even if it would have been hard," he said. Merlin smiled sheepishly. 

"I didn't want to burden you with having to choose between me and your father," Merlin answered honestly, making Arthur smile faintly. 

"You know. I honestly am surprised with how much you place me first before other things."

Merlin rolled his eyes. "Don't get too use to it just because you realize it now," he grumbled, Arthur chuckling and pulling a sulking Merlin into his lap. 

He buried his face against Merlin's neck, inhaling deeply. "Merlin. Swear to me. Swear you belong to me. You and your magic. That they are for Camelot and to keep her safe," he demanded against the flesh of Merlin's neck. 

"I swear it, Arthur," Merlin replied without a hint of hesitation. 

Arthur sagged in relief and tightened his hold on Merlin, keeping him close. In the morning they would go to Ealdor. Together. And together they would reclaim Camelot. 

It would all work out if they remained together.


End file.
